30x30: Fly an Airplane

Well, I flew an airplane! My parent's got me the lesson and flight for Christmas, and my daddy and I went this past Sunday. This was one of the items I thought would be one of the hardest to accomplish without a lot of training. It turns out, flying a plane is like driving a really old and stubborn car that travels up and down as well as forwards and backwards. I felt like I was in our old 90s Tempo again.

We had no ground class, and went straight out to the plane. We went through the pre-flight check, which is really complicated. The inside dashboard looked like a mix of organ parts and dials with many knobs and old school switches and buttons. Our instructor kept in contact with the tower, and they gave her the number designation for our plane so that they could keep track of us. I learned how to steer with my feet, using the floor petals to control the plane on the ground. It almost felt like a bicycle, leaning one way and then the other to get the plane to move in a straight line. Then we taxied down the run way, I pushed the throttle all the way in, and when we got up to 60 mph, I lifted us off the ground. It was incredible!

I was wobbly at first, trying to wrap my head around what I was doing and how high I was and that I was flying a plane. Once I got used to it, though, it was like driving a car. Granted a car that tilted when you turned, but still a car. It felt like the plane wanted to be in the air. I did have a harder time steering than I expected because, unlike a car, you don't have to fight wind currents to get the flaps on your wings to move.

 

Unfortunately, I got airsick, and so I didn't get to fly home or land for fear of throwing up, but I did it! I flew a plane!

I think I liked the hot air balloon better, because it was peaceful and I didn't have to steer, and you really got the sense of flying like a bird might fly. The closed cockpit in the plane gave you a certain detachment from it all. Perhaps when I have more money and a car, I will attempt to fly a WWI plane with an open cockpit. A Fokker bi-plane or maybe a Sopwith Camel!

But I have flown a plane, and experienced what many of my heroes have experienced, like Beryl Markham and Amelia Earhardt.

And Young Indiana Jones, Charles Nungesser, Raoul Lufbery, Anthony Fokker, Baron Von Richthofen, and Snoopy.

This is the whole reason why I wanted to do this in the first place: Young Indiana Jones and the Attack of the Hawkmen. Talk about access points for history.

30x30: Scary Dance Class

Bet you thought I had forgotten about my 30x30, huh?

I have now completed #6: Take a dance class in something that scares me, like jazz or contemporary. I took a dance class in the scariest of all scary dances: hip hop.

I was petrified on the first day, but it turned out that the class was only really two scared white girls with no swag like me. We lost our original teacher after the first day (he moved to Vegas) and we got a wonderful teacher named Christina who was really skilled and patient with us. It was amazing having my friend Mel with me. It kept us light and not to much in our heads.

Hip hop is the exact opposite of how my body moves. It is grounded and dirty, where as my training in ballet makes me aerial and precise. I had to force myself to make it less than perfect, make it my own, have a strong base. It was like the earthbending of dance. It was only an hour a week for 6 weeks, and I felt I was just getting the hang of it as we ended.

I think it would be good for me to continue in some fashion to get that kind of grounded and strong movement into my body. I often come across as indecisive or flighty with my movements. When I engage my core and plant myself, I feel more confidant and powerful. Hip hop might help me get there.

Alas, funding is always an issue, and I need that money to move onto my next class for 30x30. Martial arts.

Here is an example of what I wish I could do but is too advanced for me. It also kinda exemplifies what I am talking about with Ballet vs. Hip Hop.

My Grammy

Well, my Grammy died. She died on a Tuesday morning. We had moved her into a nursing home, after a valiant effort by my grandfather, my mother and my aunt to help take shifts with her and care for her every day. It broke my heart to think of her and Grandpa being separated. Imagine being with someone for 75 years, and then not being with them. She was confused and sad that she couldn't go home again. It made me ponder old age, and how, after a while, we loose little bits of ourselves. You move from your house to a senior community, a senior community to a single room in a nursing home. You lose control over your body, and start to lose your memory and ability to communicate. It is scary. But even though all these things were being taken away from her, her heart still shined brightly. Even though all the trappings were stripped away, Grammy was still her kind, loving, beautiful self.

She came down with pnumonia and the flu at the same time. I had been alerted earlier in the day, but then received a note that she was getting better. Late that night, a text woke me up in bed that things were dicey, and that I should pray. I fell asleep with my phone in my bed, with "She should have died hereafter. There would have been time for such a word" in my head. It was the first time those words made sense to me. It was not a brush off of her life, but a plea for more time. He is so busy with the battle preparations and being king that he didn't pay attention. He didn't take time with her. I was planning on visiting her as soon as the show was over, but it was too late now.  I woke up and got ready for work and saw that I had missed a call around 6. I called my family back and learned that she had died. It was a short phone call and I had to get to work, so I didn't really get a chance to deal with it. I broke out in spontaneous crying here and there throughout the day. Tori got me coffee, and Bobby gave me a Reeses cup, after which I promptly burst into tears at the gesture. Every time I ate one, he would put another on the desk in the exact same spot.

That night I called my mom to see how she was and what happened. It was more than I could have hoped for for Grammy's passing. She was on life support. The doctors told my mom that it would be kinder to let her pass, as she was in pain. They made phone calls and got the family all together, all 6 of her children and Grandpa. My aunt Sarah had to drive to my other aunt's house to bang on the door at 2am, but they all got there. They said their goodbyes and my uncle John spoke to her on the phone. My Grandpa said the rosary with her one last time. They had vowed to do it every day together in their wedding vows, and they did.

They took off the apparatus, and Grammy hung on for a long time before breathing her last. My mom and dad said they marveled at how much death was like birth. It is a struggle, and you go from a place that is safe and warm and familiar to a new place you know nothing about.

The family finished up with the doctors and then walked out into a beautiful sunrise. My mom said it was a bit more orange than Grammy would have liked, but there was some lovely pink to it too.

I took two days off of work because I knew I needed to devote all my resources to being with and helping my family. The wake was strange and exhausting. Moments of being ok, and then moments of bursting into tears. Hundreds of people came, more than I expected. It was wonderful that Grammy had such a loving turn out. She looked odd in the casket. Beautiful, but not herself. I kept looking at her hands, her beautiful hands that I could still feel on mine. At first I couldn't go up to her. But then when I went up, I couldn't leave. I had to keep standing with her and talking to her. Maybe because I didn't do it as much as I should have when she was alive. I sat with Grandpa for a little bit which was really nice. He was more active than I have seen him in a while, talking and laughing with people, but he kept checking on her. They played a slideshow of pictures of her, and at the end we saw an amazing video of their wedding: silent and just a little hint of colorization. Grammy going from the house to the car, the car to the church, an inside shot of the church that was so dark you couldn't see anything, and then them both coming out of the church together. It was beautiful and they both looked so happy.

After the wake, the cousins went out to Unos, the only place open that late in Columbia, and had drinks and bar food. We caught up and talked about Grammy and how we felt and it was really nice. It was odd because the lights had been flickering occasionally at the wake, and the flicker accompanied us to the bar, and flickered even more when we were talking about her. It was nice to think it was her with us.

The funeral was the next morning. Lee came and stood with me the whole time, and was an amazing pillar of support. Grammy was carried in by the pall bearers, all my uncles, and cousins and my father and brother. I can't even imagine what that feels like. To be carrying her. They set her up off to one side, and I couldn't help thinking that that was kind of how it was at family gatherings. Grammy, off to one side by herself, or with grandpa, sitting and smiling while the family whirled and talked around her. I couldn't watch the lid open. It was too weird. It would have made it very plain that she was in a box, and I couldn't deal with that.

My family went up and said goodbye. Lee came up and stood with me, even though it was very strange for him to see the body. I had my rosary with me, and she was holding hers, so I clinked our rosaries like they were glasses. Then I made the sign of the cross on her head, like we always did to each other when we were saying goodbye.

The funeral was lovely. The reading was about the perfect wife from proverbs. The priest spoke about her life of service in the hope of reward in the life to come. My aunt Leenie gave us her life story, which I appreciated so much since there was so much I never knew about her. She was kind and giving and lively and strong. She sang and she wrestled with her faith, and fought for what she believed in. She loved our Grandfather deeply.  Katie, my cousin, in her grandchildren's eulogy described it best. Our grandmother was an immigrant from another time: a more refined, more polite time, in the best sense.  I have regretted that we were not closer to Grammy and Grandpa. Perhaps it was because when we went up to Pennsylvania on holidays to visit them, there were so many cousins around that we never sat and talked with them. As I got older, I grew to appreciate more and more their presence in our lives, but my life would always sweep me away.

We had a small reception after the service, and then we caravanned out to the cemetery. It was the friendliest old hodgepodgey cemetery I had ever seen. Lots of monoliths and large tombs and statues scattered over a rolling hillside, like how I imagine the cemetery in The Graveyard Book looking. It was good to know that Grammy would be in a friendly cemetery. The service at the site was abrupt and too short. We arrived and then we were done. It was weird to give her such short shrift when we were about to put her in the ground, that very final, very concrete act.  But we lingered and gave her roses, and took roses for ourselves and then said goodbye one more time. I told my mom we should picnic there when it was spring.

Then we got into our cars and drove to my parents house for the after party. It was odd because Grammy wasn't there but it was too crowded to really feel the hole yet. Easter or Mother's Day will hurt. The cousins moved downstairs away from the noise, and found that our place was taken by two 8 year old boys, our second cousins, who were going through all our old stuff. It was a shock to realize that we weren't the kids anymore.

Daddy drove me home, and that was that. I am drying Grammy's rose in my closet, and whenever I think of her, she is smiling in a pink and gold glow. In her honor, I am doing my best to pray more often, to be more polite to people as a sign of how much I value them, to be of service.

I hope that she stays with me always.

New Year's Post, Part III: Looking Forward to 2014

My word for 2014 is Centered.

I find myself spinning with anxiety so much that it really effects who I am and those around me. It keeps me from being my best self. But if I am centered, I can picture myself as the calm eye in the center of the tornado, breathing, and detaching from it.

If I lived my word everyday, I would:

Not freak out so much.

I would have a balance between work and play, need and want, body and mind.

I would choose projects, friends, activities carefully.

I would equitably divide my passion fruit. 

I would stay healthy with a strong core.

I would have a clear mind.

I would not spin out of orbit.

To do this, I will:

Fix my morning routine to have more meditation and less internet.

Call my parents more.

Visit my grandparents.

Make more friend dates.

More walks in the woods.

More exercise.

Finding time to read.

Breathe.

Cut down on excess (food, spending, distractions).

Write more.

Pray more.

Communicate more clearly.

Do a SARK workbook.

At the end of the year, I will have:

Head

New job in a library

Written something that has been published

Have saved $10,000

Have completed the 30x30

Leave CUA having contributed something significant (handbooks, files, archives, library)

Heart

Grown deeper in my relationship with Lee

Reintegrated myself with my family, especially with Grammy and Grandpa

Cultivated new friendships that give me guidance and nourishment.

Physical World

Reading lamp

Regular exercise regimen.

Dance and martial arts classes

Shoes that don't hurt my feet.

Soul

Pray and meditate regularly

Find a Godswood

Find ways to make normal moments luxurious, relish simple things, make the ordinary special.

My 2014 First Aid Kit:
Narnia, Holding Lee's hand, singing, bath bombs, the woods, Up, Pitch Perfect, journaling, reading a good book, cleaning, decorating, organizing, making lists, massage, dates with friends, morning bacon, el taco noche, chocolate milk, mint tea, accomplishing something, music bath, running on a treadmill, breathing, engaging my core, chakra meditation, Avatar: the Last Airbender.

2014 will be the year I finally: graduate, complete 30x30, find a library job.

I will nourish myself with: friends, songs, quiet time.

I will make more time for: reading, being with people, praying, exploring the woods.

I will recharge my batteries by: holding Lee's hand, reading, writing, hiking, praying.

I will open my heart to: God, new friends, those who need my help, those whose help I need.

I will bring more space into my days by: weeding out the unnecessary things, waking up earlier.

I will release my attachment to: worry, business, tv, internet.

I will feel: whole, at peace, centered.

This year I will say NO to: anxiety, fear, projects that do not serve me in some way.

This year I will say YES to: uncertainty, openness, God, intimate moments, silence, aloneness.

My secret wish: To cook and eat good, simple food, pray, love my family and friends, and my man, take good walks, share fellowship, create things I am proud of.

New Year's Blog Post, Part II: Looking Back at 2013

This year, I did the workbook from Sarah Conway called Unraveling the Year Ahead: 2014. It was a rather different experience than last time. 2012 was full of tiny, surprising achievements and experiences, and I vowed to live more deeply and take more risks. This year was full of several really big changes and achievements, but often I felt I had not accomplished the goals I had set last year.

My word last year was Deep:
While I didn't fulfill this word as well as I wanted, deep was a touchstone in the chaos. I wrote more about pruning and simple things. I tried to connect more with people, and I think I really learned how to listen. I changed my morning routine to focus on reading, exercise and meditation, which has helped me immensely. I went to the park one day and blew bubbles with Lee.

In 2013, I embraced:
Projects and achievements. Saying "yes" to things that mattered, even if they were hard or scary.

In 2013, I let go of:
The need to do everything I want, even if it means compromising my sanity (ex. NaNoWriMo).

In 2013, I changed:
1) I had more follow through.
2) All the projects I chose had special meaning for me and helped me grow.
3) I got engaged to the love of my life.
4) I made more of an effort to reach out to friends.
5) Caitlin moved away.

In 2013, I discovered:
1) Feelings are not facts. I need to feel them, examine them, often reboot, and then move forward.
2) I am capable of a lot more than I thought.
3) I am worth friendships. That I can initiate them and invite people to play without fear. That I can branch out.

In 2013, I am grateful for:
1) My quiet mornings.
2) Lee as my constant port in a storm, and my partnership in adventure.
3) Bobby and Tori: my clowns, my teachers, and my sounding boards.
4) The summer mind/body balance of John Blade and Neverwhere.
5) The family of Pirates.
6) Lee coming with me to Seder, Dream Play, Christmas, and the Alice in Wonderland Ballet.
7) The gift of Glassheart.
8) Winning the Keystone Award.
9) Mel.
10) A whole-feeling Christmas.

In 2013, fear held me back when:
1) I had interactions at work that inflamed my anxiety and paralyzed me.
2) My fear of losing a friend.
3) My fear of not being good at something right away.
4) My impostor syndrome.
5) My fear of disappointing those I love.
6) My fear of having no money.
7) My fear of conflict.
8) My fear of the unknown.

In 2013, I practiced bravery:
1) Pirates, pushing past fear in rehearsals.
2) John Blade, digging in and concentrating and kicking ass!
3) Neverwhere, letting go of the fear of disappointing people and making strong choices.
4) On the Verge scene in front of Eleanor and my students.
5) Constructing the Father Hartke exhibit for the 75th Anniversary.
6) Meeting Neil Gaiman
7) Homeless outreach with Dad.
8) Going to the Kate Nash concert.
9) Traveling to Boston alone.

In 2013 I was surprised by:
1) Pope Francis and the pockets of liberal church that exist.
2) How important my core is.
3) That I accomplished 30x30 items and have 2 more in progress.
4) That I don't have to break the bank on Christmas, and it will still be Christmas.

My Achievements in 2013:
1) Neverwhere
2) John Blade
3) Pirates
4) My adventure weekend.
5) My Keystone Award

What did you do to make it happen:
1) I focused.
2) I breathed.
3) I took risks.
4) I accepted my mistakes and learned from them.
5) I kept moving forward.
6) I practiced.
7) I asked for help when I needed it.
8) I took time to work on it.
9) I bullheadedly went forward and did it, despite fears, impracticalities and limitations.
10) I invested in relationships.

Who supported you in your Achievements?
Lee, Caitlin, Mel, Matt Pauli, Robb Hunter, Lex Davis, Catherine Tripp, Bobby and Tori, Me. God.

From my Achievements, I learned:
1) There is a lot of ME in me. I have many facets and talents I can flex.
2) That I can use that old Reichelt stubbornness to my advantage.
3) That fulfilling projects are the only projects worth giving energy to.
4) That no matter how much I freak out, it will probably be ok.
5) That I have more people in my corner than I realized.

My Challenges in 2013:
1) Lack of Money
2) Lack of Time
3) My spinning ball of anxiety.

How did you deal with the challenges?
1) I budgeted realistically and stuck to it some of the time.
2) I made sure to schedule chill time in advance and use check lists.
3) I breathed, I sang, I wrote about it, I exercised, I distracted myself, I found small steps.

Did you discover any new tools or allies to help?
1) Nothing really new. Just a reminder to do the above and not spin forever.
2) Keep developing my relationships with people.

What have I learned:
1) I am one step closer to fixing the above challenges, but I am not there yet. I need to continue to build on what I have done so far.
2) I need to remember to pray and give some of the things I can't control to God.

My favorite day of 2013:
1) The moment I got engaged to Lee and the feeling that sunk in days later that I had a partner. A co-adventurer. I didn't have to go it alone because we would do it together.
2) This past Christmas where we took the time to make sure it was whole. Decorations, good presents, time with, praying, starry night, singing carols, fire in the TV, good movies, paying attention to Grammy.
3) Standing by the silent frozen lake this vacation. I felt quiet, still, at peace, grateful, insignificant in the vastness, yet the only one in the world. Everything else just fell away and it was just me. Standing in the woods, in my cathedral of trees, smelling intense, and feeling whole. Like God was right there.

What need to be forgiven:
My spiraling anxiety.

The gifts of 2013:
1) My ability to follow through.
2) My stubbornness
3) New friends.
4) Changes like tectonic plates shifting. The end of an era. The ability to look back with thankfulness and look forward with hope and excitement.
5) Recognition.
6) Having adventures with family.
7) Our engagement.
8) Finding a church that feels close to home.
9) The generosity of others.
10) Working on many projects I feel passionate about and getting reacquainted with my body.

Three words that describe 2013: Change. Growth. Partnership.

The title of 2013 if it was a book or album: To everything there is a season.

This was a year of pushing forward, of risking, of achieving big things, and of change. Lots of change. Some for the good, some that hurt, but eventually will be good.

New Year's Blog Post, Part I: The Vacation

Here are my belated New Years postings! It is very difficult to start a fresh, new, clean-slate, resolution-filled new year when you are smack dab in the middle of rehearsing a play. No time for breathing, no time for real reflection, no time for giving thanks.

Lee and I went up to Deep Creek like last year. We had been looking forward our magical fairy tale retreat for months where we could just be. No schedules, no responsibilities, no nothing except what we felt like doing. Then, an incredible gift landed in our laps: the chance to work on a show together, and not just any show, but an adaptation of Beauty and the Beast. However, this meant that our idyllic vacation was not as care-free as we hoped. We had started rehearsal mid December, and we had off for Christmas and our vacation. However, that meant I had to have all my lines memorized by the time we returned. With the director with me on vacation, I felt double pressure. The dread of work hanging over me clouded the relaxing I was trying to do. I couldn't recapture that beautiful zone of stillness that permeated vacation last time.

But I am getting ahead of myself. Day 1 of vacation started off with a family funeral. Lee's mom's best friend had died after a long battle with cancer. We went to be with them. It was my first real Jewish service of any kind and it was very different than I expected. More like a family prayer service, with a friend officiant than a mass. Prayers were said, people spoke. It was full, and sad, and sacred.

We went to a very cheesy and fun old movie themed diner in Towson for lunch, stopped back home to get something we forgot, and then were on the road again. We finally, one year after starting the book, finished the A Fault in Our Stars audiobook and cried.

It was a beautiful sunny drive up to Deep Creek, unlike last time which was full of ice and snow. We got rather expensive groceries from the store, and drove to our lovely house, which was only 100 feet from our little Whitetail cabin we loved last year. We shook our fists at the people who took our place. Lost Bearadise was nice, though! It was lit up and decorated for Christmas when we pulled up in the dark. Garlands, lights and a Christmas tree. It was a lot bigger than the Whitetail, with a basement and extra bedrooms. While the space was nice, I loved the forced proximity last year. We were never more than a room away from each other.

We unpacked and I tried to practice my violin (I had started violin lessons as part of my 30x30 a week before), but the pegs kept slipping and it wouldn't stay in tune. I became very frustrated because in addition to memorizing, I was supposed to practice at least 15 min a day.

After I gave up, we made a fire in the fire place on our first try (we are now the fire experts!), and Lee made tacos, and we watched Hogfather in honor of Christmas. I then memorized two scenes and Lee quizzed me (thank god for him). We then played Discworld, a new game, and probably the hardest game we had ever played. It was like Lords of Waterdeep, Flux and Smash Up all in one, and it was very frustrating.

I was upset after that. After a difficult violin lesson the day before, I felt like I was a beginner at everything. I am not good at making mistakes, even when I know I am just learning and I am not supposed to be an expert yet. That, and the pressure of memorizing keeping me semi-on alert and not able to relax made it a frustrating beginning to our vacation. I read Out Of the Easy before I went to bed, though, and it was a very good book.

Day two, I woke up feeling a bit better and showered. Lee made bacon, eggs and biscuits and we finished Hogfather. I did my accounts, which did not equal my bank balance and that stressed me out a little. I had less money than I thought. I sat out on the porch for a bit in the cold sunlight which was lovely. I began to make an art of blind photo taking, because the glare on my phone screen  was proving difficult.

I took a walk with Lee, retracing my steps from my beautiful, quiet snow walk from last time and discovered a new view of the lake together. We came back, and I fixed tea, celery, cheese and chips and journaled for a little while. We then dipped into the hot tub and watched Goodfellas for a little while. While Lee cooked dinner, I practiced violin and got at least two of the pegs to stick in tune.

Dinner was steak, potatoes and carrots with wine and Murder on the Orient Express with a desert of strawberries dipped in chocolate.

I memorized one scene for an hour and 15 minutes and then Lee quizzed me. I tried to keep my freakout to a minimum, but I still freaked out. It didn't feel like a vacation because I was always worrying about the next thing. I felt like Lee was on this relaxing, romantic vacation and I couldn't join him.

Day 3, I woke up and ate breakfast while reading, and then sat out on the porch and watched the rain. Outside started to smell like skunk so I came back in.

We went to Firefly farms and got cheese and spicy peach jelly, and listened to songs as we drove home.

I went and took a bath with a pine-scented bath bomb, relaxing music and a nice book to try and get in a good place, but it felt like I was marinating in stress. I tried a face mask and journaling some more, but I was not in a good headspace, and I ended up crying for a while. I felt stressed, and then guilty I was stressed because I felt like I had payed $600 to go cry in the woods. Lee talked me off a ledge, though, and gave me permission not to memorize anymore until we got back from vacation, which helped a lot.

I watched him play video games for a bit to calm down, then we hot tubbed it with a glass of wine, and a crazy fire that would not stop smoking. We watched a bit of What a Girl Wants and then went to dinner at Dutch's at Silver Tree, which is like a super fancy American food restaurant. Like they have fried chicken, but the fanciest, best quality friend chicken you have ever seen. It was lovely. We came home and played Scrabble (thank you, Lee) and the Lords of Waterdeep expansion and then watched Ghostbusters til bedtime.

Day 4, I woke up, made breakfast, watched some TV and decided to go for a walk. The solo walk was such a gift last time, and so I wanted to have that feeling again: that kind of spiritual scrubdown. It was freezing and snowing, so I bundled up and set out to try to get close to the lake. After a little while, I saw the lake through the trees and stepped into a communal driveway to get a better view. A man who was emptying his trash asked if I was lost, and so I told him, I was just looking at the lake, since we didn't have view of it from our place. He generously allowed me to go through his back garden to see it up close!

It was like being in the Arctic. Like I was the only one for miles. The lake was pristine and frozen, with a foggy mountain in the distance and a rough sandy shoreline littered with driftwood and pockmarked with holes in the ice, and shards floating in the water like tectonic plates. Two old tree stumps had washed up on shore, and the one in the distance looked like a mammoth.

It was silent, clean, whole, like nothing could disturb it. My messy, spiraling angst was swallowed up in this vast, indifferent wilderness, like cacophony swallowed by one single pure note. I thanked God for such a beautiful gift, a touchstone for the year, like my snowy walk the year before.

As I walked back through the trees, I realized I never felt this peaceful anywhere else. I was almost to my house when I swear, I smelled incense burning, like at church. I stopped in my tracks and the trees rose around me like a cathedral. I wondered if the woods were my sacred home? I have been looking for one in my 30x30, but I always assumed I meant a church. What if it really was the silence of the woods. I am going to try to find a quiet place at home that I can visit regularly to try it out. A godswood, like in Game of Thrones. 

After that, I came home, finished journalling now that I was in a better place, and sat with Lee while he played videogames. We played one round of Discworld, and then wanted to go out. We decided on bowling, but stopped in the driveway and decided to go for a walk to the lake instead. I showed Lee my frozen wilderness and we stood there for a while, drinking it in.

After that, we played LOWD expansion, ordered pizza, I called my mommy to catch up, and then we ate pizza and watched My Neighbor Totoro. We then went into the hot tub and talked for a long time about the future, careers, theater, everything.

Day 5, we packed up and went home.

It was not the fairy tale of last time, but it had some really good moments of peace and connection. I have learned that I can never take work with me on a vacation, no matter what the circumstances. It will be a priority for me in the future. And I have a place that I can go back to when things get difficult: the frozen lake in the middle of the woods.

Facebook Status Review: 2013

January 10

I just bought my first adult office plant! He is a Dragon Tree plant and his name is Frederick. As strange as it may seem, this has been on my professional to do list for about a year. Achievement Unlocked! Now on to the task of keeping it alive.

January 10

In keeping with my theme of professional achievements today, I am now the proud member of the American Library Association and it's subset the Young Adult Library Services Association!

February 2

BOOM, baby! What a way to open! Blew it out of the water! Congrats to my fellow pirates, and thanks to everyone who came!

February 7

Soooo. I was struck by this earlier today. I have a normal 9-5 desk job by day. And by night...I get to be a pirate. I am so ridiculously lucky! Acting is weird and wonderful.

February 16

"We're Pirates. Pirates of the Chartreuse. We will act accordingly!" Last day of the Pirate Laureate of Port Town.

February 22

Oh Leslie Knope and Ben Wyatt. You make everything awesome.

March 22

There is nothing better than working hard and creating something awesome. Still got some ways to go on my Fr. Hartke exhibit for the Mullen, but it looks pretty damn cool.

March 29

Not going to mass tonight, but I am watching the BBC Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe to honor Good Friday.

April 3

Well, I followed my 2013 mantra of 1) Sucking it up, 2) Taking it one step at a time, 3) Committing, 4) Working hard, 5) Maintaining Discipline, and 6) Submitting something I am proud of. Here are the fruits of my labor: The Show-Biz Priest: The Legend and Influence of Father Hartke, an exhibit in the Mullen Library at CUA. It is done. Huge thanks to Bobby Pike who did more than his fair share of the work.

April 8

Lee and Megan do the tango.

April 25

Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming swimming swimming...

April 26

Just put an event on my calendar and called it "Secret." Then I giggled. I might be going mad, but at least I am enjoying myself.

May 9

At the Gilbies, the Seniors awarded me the Keystone Award, which is given to a faculty or staff member that has helped them throughout their four years. I am so incredibly moved and thankful!

May 13

Heatshots, check! Business cards, check! Two professional achievements unlocked!

May 13

Fivel just made an appearance in my office!

June 7

Another personal goal of mine realized: I get to dual-wield katanas in a fight.

June 21

In a few hours time, I get to meet one of the heroes of my adult life, Neil Gaiman. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

June 28

I discovered something today! Know what helps when you are really stressed out or anxious? Walk slowly. You start to notice more things, and be really present. It's nice. I haven't felt that calm in a while.

July 14

Wow. Opened John Blade to a sold out house (that included my Lee and many people I love) and a standing ovation, got a cheeseburger and strawberry shake on the way home, and now this morning I have slept til noon and am about to have bacon and pancakes and cartoons with my love, who I haven't spent a day with in weeks. It has been a pretty good day.

July 27

Saying goodbye to John Blade today. What an amazing experience with some incredible artists! You have made me stretch and grow so much, and helped me get back on the stage combat path. I love you all. Off to get my ass kicked one last time!

And I am off on my whirlwind adventure! I start with hot air ballooning with my dad tomorrow, then the Visionary Art Museum, High Tea and antiquing with my mom, then off to Boston where I walk the freedom trail, visit Louisa May Alcott's house and bask at Waldon, and then go hiking and camping overnight with my brother! Then home for the Rorschach Opening. Let the weekend of awesome begin!

September 8

Heigh-Ho! Heigh-Ho! It's off to Rennfest we go!

September 15

Soooo... I have something to tell you guys.  But I guess you already know! Lee Liebeskind created this fantastically elaborate ruse. He had been playing the long game, putting pieces in place for this as far back as March. He, helped by everyone in the Neverwhere cast and crew, convinced me I was helping out a donor who had won the "Get a Walk On Role in Neverwhere" award for the Kickstarter. It was my job to guide them around London Below in the Market Scenes and Curtain Call. So he gave me the most amazing gift, the chance to be in one of my favorite stories of all time. And then, at curtain call, he got down on one knee, and proposed. It was so brain and heart exploding and perfect. I get to spend the rest of my life with my best friend!

We are going to wait til I'm finished grad school this summer to even start making plans, so we have some time to process and enjoy this. And if any of you know my grandmother and grandfather please don't tell them until we can call them this afternoon!

Squee!

September 16

Last night, I said goodbye to London Below, a city that has given me so much: friends, fun, magic, a chance to get up to my elbows in research, and, most importantly, my partner in adventure, Lee. This will probably be the most significant and most treasured show of my life. The final matinee was perfect. Everyone gave the best performance I had yet seen (I saw it 4 times!) I was the last person out of the theater and said my goodbyes and thank you to my city before the strike crew came in. I helped pack her into boxes, stole a few bits of her to take home, and then emerged into my own city atop H Street Country Club (I'm a roof man I am), to toast the show with friends. Thank you Neil Gaiman. Thank you Rorschach Theatre. Thank you London Below.

September 18

"Xander. There's too many of them. People. And, and, and...they all...seem to want things." - Giles, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

September 19

Now that the dust has settled a bit, I want to say how so incredibly moved and thankful we are for the outpouring of love and well wishes and drinks and cupcakes and messages and hugs and celebrations from our friends and family! We are so incredibly lucky to have a community of people like you and we are so looking forward to celebrating with you when the day comes! And every day for the rest of our lives. YAY for love!

September 21

Just saw The World's End last night and LOVED IT! I think it is my favorite of the trilogy. Well scripted, incredibly well acted (esp by Nick Frost), and really clever and funny. And if you are a fight person and have not seen it, you should, because the fights are awesome! In other news, Lee and I have started Diablo III, the first video game we have played that allows us to go on adventures together and kill zombies with swords! YAY! However, I wish that I by "tunic" they didn't mean bra. Female barbarians need coverage too, you know.

September 26

I got my first informed stranger arguing with me in the comment section of my blog!! Huzzah!

September 28

What makes a King out of a slave? Courage!

What makes the flag on the mast to wave? Courage!

What makes the elephant charge his tusk, in the misty mist or the dusky dusk?

What makes the muskrat guard his musk? Courage!

What makes the sphinx the seventh wonder? Courage!

What makes the dawn come up like THUNDAAAR? Courage!

What makes the Hottentot so hot? What puts the "ape" in apricot?

What have they got that I ain't got?

September 30

Sipping champagne, eating chocolate, and watching Arthur (the cartoon aadrvark). Another night at the Liebeskind-Reichelt residence. Pretty great night so far. And when Lee gets home, steak and asparagus and Castle!

October 3

Note from your friendly neighborhood librarian: In this time of weirdness, it is important not to jump to conclusions without any evidence. Always get info from balanced sources with hard facts to back up your arguments or thoughts. We should never just assume x group is responsible for y because we see them as "the enemy." This is how rifts get bigger and compromises become more and more difficult.

October 9

Trying to stave off the dementors with a mocha.

October 12

I wonder what would happen if for this Halloween we dressed up as things that really scared us. Like the abyss. Or crippling self doubt. Or rejection. Would that make it better?

October 21

Wow. Waking up early is awesome. Who knew? I had enough time to pray and meditate, do my stretches, exercise, leisurely eat breakfast while reading a book, pack a homemade lunch, mail a package, return a library book, take time for Adam my homeless friend, and get to work on time! And I feel great! I feel like this one small things solves a lot of my problems.

October 31

Halloween. Today is perfect. Crisp, with orange and red leaves on the trees and underfoot. I will be celebrating by wearing my Halloween costume at work, giving out candy to college students, and blasting Nightmare Before Christmas all day.

November 1

It's NaNoWriMo. God help us all.

November 2

Lee knows how to turn a shitty day around. El Taco Noche! (With the promise of bacon in the morning).

November 4

The crew of the Chartreuse together again! I gotta tell ya, it's pretty fantastic.

November 6

It is so awesome when the "Oh my god, I don't think I can do it"s become the "Holy crap, I am doing it!"s

November 9

Oh my god. I feel like a human being. I need to live in the slow lane more often. Such an awesome day.

November 13

You know who I miss? Janeway.

December 4

Wow! Way to go OUAT! Save Henry was probably my favorite episode this season, all thanks to Regina's awesomeness, and a really great twist ending. Caitlin S Griffin, I will be excited to hear what you think!

December 5

“It always seems impossible until it's done.” - Nelson Mandela

December 7

I want to live in a house

Surrounded by snow and bears and wood and stars.

And all along the front of this stage

There will be fairy lights, as bright as any city night.

December 9

Why does everyone have a 2 hour delay but us?

December 10

Et tu, CUA? Everyone else is closed, and we don't even get a delay. You are taking all the fun out of snow.

December 10

First read for Glassheart (an adaptation of Beauty and the Beast) with Rorschach tonight! I am playing a lamp! The most glowingest, goodhearted lamp who ever lamped. It is gonna be an amazing show, guys! Jan 17-Feb 16. Put it on your calendar!

December 12

I'm your only friend

I'm not your only friend

But I'm a little glowing friend

But really I'm not actually your friend

But I am.

December 12

Ok, I keep hearing this tinkling, like 20 light bulbs burned out all at once. Either I am going crazy, or there are fairies in my office.

December 17

When you are on the metro rehearsing a scene in your head, and you look up to realize that you have been silently acting it out and everyone is looking at you. #actorproblems

December 19

OMG look at what Bobby Pike and Tori Boutin got me!!! An Alice in Wonderland starring me as Alice, Mole as Dinah, Caitlin S Griffin as the White Rabbit, Deb Hanselman as the Cheshire Cat, Lee Liebeskind as the Mad Hatter, and them as the King and Queen of Hearts. You guys were right, I died of squee.

December 20

FREEEDOOOOOM!

December 24

Hey Silver Springers! I am going on a giant odyssey today to find a Christmas tree via public transportation. Any leads on Christmas tree lots that are open today in the area would be most appreciated.

December 24

Getting a Christmas tree with my friend Matt, decorating it while listening to carols, going to the bilingual children's mass at Sacred Heart, then singing carols while walking home in the cold under the stars, then sitting eating Chinese food, red wine from Jennifer Knight, and chocolate chip cookies and milk while watching Paddington Bear and Muppet Christmas Carol with Lee and Mole. Perfect Christmas eve.

December 25, 2013

A lovely Christmas Day (which unfortunately started at 7am with domestic disturbance theatre outside our widow), but then Lee greeted me with the fire blazing on the TV and Christmas carols playing! We exchanged presents, watched Percy Jackson and the Sea of Monsters, and then spent some wonderful quality holiday time with both families. And now some much needed chilliin'.

December 30, 2013

I really do belong at Winterfell.