This year, I did the workbook from Sarah Conway called Unraveling the Year Ahead: 2014. It was a rather different experience than last time. 2012 was full of tiny, surprising achievements and experiences, and I vowed to live more deeply and take more risks. This year was full of several really big changes and achievements, but often I felt I had not accomplished the goals I had set last year.
My word last year was Deep:
While I didn't fulfill this word as well as I wanted, deep was a touchstone in the chaos. I wrote more about pruning and simple things. I tried to connect more with people, and I think I really learned how to listen. I changed my morning routine to focus on reading, exercise and meditation, which has helped me immensely. I went to the park one day and blew bubbles with Lee.
In 2013, I embraced:
Projects and achievements. Saying "yes" to things that mattered, even if they were hard or scary.
In 2013, I let go of:
The need to do everything I want, even if it means compromising my sanity (ex. NaNoWriMo).
In 2013, I changed:
1) I had more follow through.
2) All the projects I chose had special meaning for me and helped me grow.
3) I got engaged to the love of my life.
4) I made more of an effort to reach out to friends.
5) Caitlin moved away.
In 2013, I discovered:
1) Feelings are not facts. I need to feel them, examine them, often reboot, and then move forward.
2) I am capable of a lot more than I thought.
3) I am worth friendships. That I can initiate them and invite people to play without fear. That I can branch out.
In 2013, I am grateful for:
1) My quiet mornings.
2) Lee as my constant port in a storm, and my partnership in adventure.
3) Bobby and Tori: my clowns, my teachers, and my sounding boards.
4) The summer mind/body balance of John Blade and Neverwhere.
5) The family of Pirates.
6) Lee coming with me to Seder, Dream Play, Christmas, and the Alice in Wonderland Ballet.
7) The gift of Glassheart.
8) Winning the Keystone Award.
9) Mel.
10) A whole-feeling Christmas.
In 2013, fear held me back when:
1) I had interactions at work that inflamed my anxiety and paralyzed me.
2) My fear of losing a friend.
3) My fear of not being good at something right away.
4) My impostor syndrome.
5) My fear of disappointing those I love.
6) My fear of having no money.
7) My fear of conflict.
8) My fear of the unknown.
In 2013, I practiced bravery:
1) Pirates, pushing past fear in rehearsals.
2) John Blade, digging in and concentrating and kicking ass!
3) Neverwhere, letting go of the fear of disappointing people and making strong choices.
4) On the Verge scene in front of Eleanor and my students.
5) Constructing the Father Hartke exhibit for the 75th Anniversary.
6) Meeting Neil Gaiman
7) Homeless outreach with Dad.
8) Going to the Kate Nash concert.
9) Traveling to Boston alone.
In 2013 I was surprised by:
1) Pope Francis and the pockets of liberal church that exist.
2) How important my core is.
3) That I accomplished 30x30 items and have 2 more in progress.
4) That I don't have to break the bank on Christmas, and it will still be Christmas.
My Achievements in 2013:
1) Neverwhere
2) John Blade
3) Pirates
4) My adventure weekend.
5) My Keystone Award
What did you do to make it happen:
1) I focused.
2) I breathed.
3) I took risks.
4) I accepted my mistakes and learned from them.
5) I kept moving forward.
6) I practiced.
7) I asked for help when I needed it.
8) I took time to work on it.
9) I bullheadedly went forward and did it, despite fears, impracticalities and limitations.
10) I invested in relationships.
Who supported you in your Achievements?
Lee, Caitlin, Mel, Matt Pauli, Robb Hunter, Lex Davis, Catherine Tripp, Bobby and Tori, Me. God.
From my Achievements, I learned:
1) There is a lot of ME in me. I have many facets and talents I can flex.
2) That I can use that old Reichelt stubbornness to my advantage.
3) That fulfilling projects are the only projects worth giving energy to.
4) That no matter how much I freak out, it will probably be ok.
5) That I have more people in my corner than I realized.
My Challenges in 2013:
1) Lack of Money
2) Lack of Time
3) My spinning ball of anxiety.
How did you deal with the challenges?
1) I budgeted realistically and stuck to it some of the time.
2) I made sure to schedule chill time in advance and use check lists.
3) I breathed, I sang, I wrote about it, I exercised, I distracted myself, I found small steps.
Did you discover any new tools or allies to help?
1) Nothing really new. Just a reminder to do the above and not spin forever.
2) Keep developing my relationships with people.
What have I learned:
1) I am one step closer to fixing the above challenges, but I am not there yet. I need to continue to build on what I have done so far.
2) I need to remember to pray and give some of the things I can't control to God.
My favorite day of 2013:
1) The moment I got engaged to Lee and the feeling that sunk in days later that I had a partner. A co-adventurer. I didn't have to go it alone because we would do it together.
2) This past Christmas where we took the time to make sure it was whole. Decorations, good presents, time with, praying, starry night, singing carols, fire in the TV, good movies, paying attention to Grammy.
3) Standing by the silent frozen lake this vacation. I felt quiet, still, at peace, grateful, insignificant in the vastness, yet the only one in the world. Everything else just fell away and it was just me. Standing in the woods, in my cathedral of trees, smelling intense, and feeling whole. Like God was right there.
What need to be forgiven:
My spiraling anxiety.
The gifts of 2013:
1) My ability to follow through.
2) My stubbornness
3) New friends.
4) Changes like tectonic plates shifting. The end of an era. The ability to look back with thankfulness and look forward with hope and excitement.
5) Recognition.
6) Having adventures with family.
7) Our engagement.
8) Finding a church that feels close to home.
9) The generosity of others.
10) Working on many projects I feel passionate about and getting reacquainted with my body.
Three words that describe 2013: Change. Growth. Partnership.
The title of 2013 if it was a book or album: To everything there is a season.
This was a year of pushing forward, of risking, of achieving big things, and of change. Lots of change. Some for the good, some that hurt, but eventually will be good.
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